So last year (late July) my wife left me and also took our two young daughters. She moved into her parents and for absolutely no reason stopped me seeing the girls. It was getting evident that her stance in me not seeing them wouldn't change so i instructed a solicitor to help me gain access through the courts etc. After a while she would allow me to see them, but only if it was round her mum's with her or her mum supervising (again, no reason for this).
A couple of months later, my wife met a new man and they rented a new home within a couple of weeks of meeting. For about three months, while they were "getting the new place ready" up until a week before Christmas, the girls remained at their grandmother's while my wife and her partner lived in the new place. As the weeks went on, her mum started struggling to cope with the girls and eventually let me have the girls over the weekend etc. Ever since the girls moved in with their mum, I've been having them every weekend, which has been lovely. Yesterday was the court case (over the phone!), and unfortunately because I and my ex (she is still technically my wife) are so far apart in what outcome we are after, it has to go to a second hearing. Unfortunately I am currently suffering with covid, so haven't seen the girls for two weeks which has been hell. The courts gave an interim decision that I have them every weekend between now and the second hearing.
The trouble is, despite my ex treating me over the last few months like a piece of **** (she even tried telling the court that I'm a violent alcoholic, despite the fact I'd not hurt a fly and the last drink I had was one beer on Christmas day!) aswell as her new man threatening me with violence on a few occasions, I'm still really jealous and hung up over her being happy with someone new. It's obviously valentine's Day soon, and thinking of them two together while I'm in my flat all alone, lonely and totally fed up. I just want the happy, loving life where I have a partner who had a mutual love with me and my two beautiful daughters to spend more time with me, but it just all seems to be going wrong. I can't see myself ever having that happy family life with anyone again, and she has found it within weeks of leaving me. Our marriage was far from perfect. I slept on the sofa for the last 18 months (we were only together for 6 years), we hadn't had any sex or even a kiss or cuddle for almost two years, we were always bickering and arguing etc and I was deeply unhappy, but I never stopped loving her, so when she left, it hurt so much. I just don't know how or if I'll ever snap out of this, considering I've got to keep in contact with her and always see her and him together all loved up, i hate it!
For some reason, all I think about is her and this new man being intimate, the two of them starting a new life together etc it's really hurting me. I wake up everyday and I just feel empty and heartbroken. I know for a fact that if it wasn't for my two girls, I wouldn't be here now