Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
I think it’s perfectly fine to have high standards and high expectations but it has to match what kind of people you befriend and get involved with. If they aren’t high standards people or simply are not right for you as friends or more, then expecting something that they cannot deliver isn’t serving any purpose. If you have high standards in people, then you should go for high standards people.
I think you open up and trust people quickly and only see good in them without getting to know them well or not paying attention to details and sadly they turn out to be jerks quite often. You just didn’t see it.
In addition if you frequently befriend or otherwise entangle yourself with people who are unwell, it’s only understandable they will exhibit “unwell” behaviors. I am not saying you shouldn’t befriend struggling people but you should be prepared for them exhibiting troublesome behaviors.
I think becoming more discerning and choosy and becoming less trusting in a way would save you some headache (both online and in person)
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This couldn't be more true for myself right now.
To digress a bit, I am finding my way through new and old IRL friendships right now. I just severed two friendships that were not serving me well. I had determined that these two women are not my true friends, so I said goodbye. I am learning through the darkest of times who these true friends really are. And I have NO patience for anyone in my life who cannot be a true friend to me and vice versa.
I've learned through the darkest of times that I can count on just a few of my closest and dearest friends - actually, there's about four of them that I can truly count on, women and men.
I cut off one female who moved out west and who hasn't lifted a finger to be in touch with me since she's gone. Another one barely responds to me, so I cut her out.
And a new-ish woman in my life proved herself to be very fickle, so I won't be pursuing that friendship.
I desire only quality friendships.... sure, I can be surface level friends with many different people, but those are just for fun times and not hard times.
The same will hold true for any new men I meet in my life.
I am done with sub-par friendships and relationships altogether. Perhaps I needed this marriage to help me to finally reach this point in my life.
So, yes, I am in full agreement with you!