I look people up on Google but I also look up actors and actresses too and learn as much as I can about them and their characters.

There is a TV show here in UK and its a soap opera I don't really watch it but I still know all the characters to a particular family.... no idea why though tbh.

I've had to stop looking up certain people in case they get suspicious.

If I'm leaving friends inside I get sad it's like the fun is over. They would never know this as its purely on the inside I fake it on the outside.

It is the same with my mental health team if I had a good session I don't want it to end so I try to drag it out even though I can't most of the time unfortunately.

I think we are discussing this in therapy on Monday. The erm weirdness of me. My therapist was saying its all connected to SELF WORTH. There is so much work to do, I don't know if I can do it though.