Hm. I have a very different perspective. I think it's dangerous ground you were trying out with this male friend. It developed to a point where you had a fleeting thought of wondering what it would be like to be with him romantically and even posted about it online when you are engaged to someone else. You hid aspects of this new budding friendship from your fiance, which is a no-no and which will naturally inspire jealousy, insecurity and mistrust. In my opinion, you created this situation with your fiance, and so it's up to you to fix it with him or not. Perhaps you are the one who needs therapy to deal with whatever is lacking and missing in your relationship, causing you to seek a deeper and more meaningful connection with another male with whom you had a brief fantasy of being involved. I would totally back off from communicating with this male friend, I would get into therapy and discover whether you truly wish to marry the man you are supposed to marry.