I’m just reading and helping my mom out. I am super anxious but I’ve only taken one .5 Xanax today. I drank a ton of water since that’s the other thing I do when I’m anxious. Chug water. I used all my weighted blankets last night. 37 pounds total. I’m sure my therapist would consider that a risky behavior. It is a lot of weight for my size and I could suffocate but I feel like I’m being careful.

Last night I heard 3 very loud screams coming from somewhere outside. It was about 2:30 in the morning. It was weird and creepy But no ambulance or police cars showed up on my block. I also got a call on my home phone this morning and the caller ID just said Area 273. Maybe moving is best although I am having the hardest time with it since we got the carpets in.

I’m not even thinking about emailing my therapist. I haven’t had the urge in a long time. I can move on very easily. Plus I’m pretty sure she’d just tell me to go to the hospital and I honestly would probably agree with her that I need to be IP right now.

I’m just reading book after book to keep my mind off things. I’ve read 4 decent size ones in 6 days.

It burns like hell to use the bathroom and my lower left side hurts real bad and there’s also some blood.

Yet I tell myself it’s just my anxiety getting worse.