i think the other wise, kind and wonderful posters have shared insightful perspectives and i apologize for being superficial in my own post. i do still think that checking out phone messages is a line being crossed but it is understandable given how he is feeling. Sorry if my post is confusing and i will delete if necessary or requested. Sending many safe, warm hugs to ALL of you, @browneyedgirl20, your Families, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!