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Stacy3601 said:
i dont understand. i'm so depressed right now i cant even describe it. i'm lower than depressed. its overwhelming.

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That is probably your answer to understanding why you are self harming. As you said, "I can't even describe it.... It's overwhelming."

If you are that depressed that you can't find the words to describe your emotions and you are so overwhelmed, it because natural to turn to an old coping skill-- self-harm. Can you try to find the words in journaling or talking to a therapist if you have one? I have been SI'ing everyday for around the last four months or so. I can't find the words either. Even the most powerful thing I say doesn't seem to be enough to express the pain that I am in. Please try to stay safe.