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Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
This is really interesting to me because it sounds very much like my T. Mine has said a couple times that he feels I give too much thought to therapy and to him. That it should be less important to me. And that has hurt me anytime he says it. From what he's said, he means that he wants me to be focusing on my outside life rather than therapy--particularly, rather than him. But it's difficult for me not to be focused on him in some way.
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Mine did say, just like every other therapist, that the solution is to find someone outside of therapy that I can transfer this attachment to. I was dumbfounded because I told him my attachment is not some best buddy friendship. Finding a friend to go to the movies with will not stop this as I do not see him or feel him as friend. I do not have a frame of reference for these feelings and attachment. I never felt it before and that I like what I feel for the most part except for the horrific fear of losing him.
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mean, before, he wouldn't even answer questions about what pets he has, and now I've seen both his dog and cat on camera. And I'll say how H and I have really struggled with what to make for dinner lately (one of the least of our problems, but still) and he said how he and his wife struggle with that as well, then went on to talk about some recipes he makes regularly.
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Thats funny we are all struggling with what to make for dinner! HA. Anyway yeah mine does share info about him freely but he makes a stern face if there is anything in the conversation that might bring up his wife and kids.
[QUOTE] I think they just don't get how important they can be in clients' lives. But I don't understand how they don't get that? The client is spilling their deepest secrets to them. It's a very intimate relationship in many ways. It seems natural that at least some clients would be curious about the therapist, would think about them often, etc. It's not like they're a car mechanic or something.[QUOTE/] Crazy right! It is common sense.