I have never discussed transference with either T. It would require me to be more vulnerable than I can be. It would open me to being abandoned and hurt. I suspect long term T knew it was very intense but I suspect there was a lot of counter transference. When discussing my care with Emdr T she said she played a maternal roll.

I did tell T a couple of times after long term T death that I have a fear she will die suddenly. She didn't exactly handle it the way I would of liked. She replied that my fears made total sense but that she was not planning in going anywhere but one can never predict the future.