So Sorry that you're feeling so bad. Are there any jobs in the field you wanted to work on that you're able to do, perhaps other ones that are similar to it? i know it is not quite the same thing but Please do not give up as there can be other opportunities. Definitely give a try to dating as Well if you want because i think you may be underestimating yourself. We are here for you and i Hope you have a support system IRL as well. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @NeedHelp104, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!