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Originally Posted by divine1966
Personally I just think when relationship isn’t working, it is not working and who did what and why becomes kind of secondary and you will never really have an answer. You’ll just drive yourself crazy. It’s important to remember that you wanted to end it many times in the course of this relationship and it had nothing to do with cheating. It just wasn’t right. So you could choose to believe that it just wasn’t working and not drive herself crazy over why he did and what he did.
If you do plan on staying together, then it’s important to analyze what happened. Otherwise it might be better to focus on “this just was not working”.
Honestly healthy relationships with addicts/daily substance abusers aren’t possible. I tried with alcoholic. Wasn’t working. They can be the best people and still it will not be healthy relationship. If someone needs to be high daily, they can’t have healthy relationship. Unless of course they seek recovery.
So try not to worry why he texted that woman. It’s not relevant plus he is high every day, he likely did it all high. So we are back to square one. He is an addict. Hence it’s not working
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True enough - but he's not only an addict. He's an abusive raging narcissist. He has many more problems and issues than just being an addict.
But you're right - I've wanted to leave him many times over and for all of the above issues.
I'm just not buying his side of the story is all. I call more BS. But of course he wants to and has to make ME partially responsible for HIS decision to cheat. That's what makes me the most upset - so I protest against these claims and I tell him that the police is a BS excuse and reason for what he did. I tell him it was HIS choice and conscious decision to cheat on me.