I really don't like the direction that this thread is going. Maybe it's just me but if I were IG, I would be feeling very depressed after reading this thread with all the well-meaning negative comments directed to him.

Not everybody is at the stage of recovery as it seems most of the people posting are in this thread. Some of us are just new into recovery.

If we don't love ourselves than we can't receive love from others? I know for a fact that is not true. I don't love myself but Cheshire Cat loves me and he tells me every day. So it is possible. I don't doubt his love for me and he knows how I feel about myself.

If you grow up with a childhood where you never heard "I love you" and that never showed any love and where you were constantly told you weren't good enough and you've been continually rejected, abused and abandoned, it is very hard to love yourself. Where are the reasons to? Yes, I do know that I have some good qualities so I don't feel like I'm a total loser but I have a lot to work out in therapy to get to the place where it seems most of you are at. I'm not at all negating that everybody here has had a rough life and trying to imply that mine was harder, just that we are all at different stages of recovery and I think we need to be aware of that.

It's not an act or facade of love that I have for the Cheshire Cat. It is VERY real. I have a LOT of love, compassion and empathy in me to extend to others but I don't know how to extend it to myself. Hopefully with a lot of therapy and the love of cat, I will eventually get there.

Maybe IG has had an equally hard life, I don't know him so I can't really say, I just think that even though y'all have extended advice, observations and compassion towards him and he hasn't been able to receive it is no reason to give up on him. He obviously needs more time, more therapy. Gosh, I don't think anybody is worth giving up on. What does that do to his psyche? How about a little more patience for somebody who is having a harder time to get where y'all are. He obviously needs that, so do I. We're not going to change overnight what a lifetime has done to us. I hope that nobody decides to give up on me if I don't get something the first, second or even the tenth time.

Sorry, don't mean to offend and I'm off my soapbox. I just needed to put in my one cent worth FWIW, which is probably nothing. All I can say is I'm sure glad that cat is not giving up on me because I'm having a hard time with it. I would be missing out on the wonderful love that he is giving me and then I would be the loser and my self-esteem would dip even lower.