Dear T,
I feel like I manipulated you into fitting me into your schedule today. But I think in reality, it's that I generally didn't get my emotional needs met as a child. So if I do get those needs met, like by you, I feel like it must have been via manipulation. Not just, say, you caring about your clients and your realizing that I must not be doing OK if I kept pushing for a session.

It does bother me that you mentioned how many of your clients are struggling right now. It felt like you were trying to remind me of what our relationship really is. Even though I think you were just trying to explain lack of openings and also make me feel less alone. I don't know whether to mention that to you? But it felt like a parent saying "These siblings need help instead more than you right now." I don't know how to explain that to you though, because you don't really believe in the transference thing. Maybe it's not a transference thing though, maybe it's just feeling like you were picking them over me? And now you chose me, too.


And I know I should be incredibly grateful that you work Sundays and allow earlier sessions. And I am. But I'm also rather spoiled because you tend to give me what I ask for. So this time, when you initially didn't, it hurt more, because I've become used to it. Which..."maybe it's your fault" seems harsh, but you built up expectations in a way. And recently you mentioned being able to accommodate me when I needed more (though I'd understand if that didn't include Sundays).

Anyway, thank you, and I hope today's session helps and you maybe understand better why I needed it after I talk to you.

Love,
LT