But forgiveness or suing are not the only two options. Filing a grievance isn't suing. A grievance is a report to the hospital, which they usually follow up with with further training for the staff person in question. Speaking to groups and providing feedback on doctor-patient relations isn't suing or forgiving.

To polarize the two options makes it sound like we have to do one or the other to heal, and that's just not true. There are other ways to heal, and none of us are obliged to forgive. And forgiveness also does not mean there are not consequences.

Just because someone is human does not mean they aren't responsible for the harm they have done. Yelling at a patient is downright abusive, especially if you consider the power dynamic. Telling someone to forgive an abuser because the abuser is human and flawed is a flawed logic itself.

When you tell a victim to consider the abuser's problems you bypass the suffering of the victim. And I find your suggestion to do just that: bypass and negate the trauma that the OP experienced from this doctor.

Yes, they are human, and they are also in a position of power, and they also violated ethical boundaries. For me, filing the appropriate grievance with the hospital would help me heal.