Lost all hope for sleep tonight. I've been trying to at least not use any screens when I'm up at night, but Bean (new kitty) will NOT shut up. He had food, he has water, the litter box is clean, he played with his toy. It seems when it gets dark he just starts screaming. So I'm listening to music on the 'puter. Also, I'm almost out of temazepam until at least thursday so I'm saving the two doses I have left for nights I really need sleep.

I have been noticeably calmer lately too. I'm hoping it's a combo of actually sleeping a couple hours a night and the lithium. Maybe trying to comfort Bean is helping too. Don't get me wrong though, I still have my flip out moments and I still spend much of the day pacing yelling at myself, and I keep going to this plan to ski off the roof on Tuesday when we get snow, and the urges for SA are bad almost constantly, but I actually feel tired some of the time so that's a good sign.