ALL I have done since our separation is berate him and be mean to him. Yet he STILL pleads with me, declaring his "undying love", regardless of how mean I am to him.

Given how I've treated him over the last 2 months, I cannot imagine ANYONE wanting to come back to me. I have let loose and I have not held back. He was cruel to. me, so I am mean back in response. Eye for an eye.

So his so called words of love are BS. I know this. He simply wants control and power over me. He wants me back so he can be in control again and so that HE can be the one to leave, if he chooses. I know this for a fact.

He is an abusive narcissist and he must have all the power and control and be in charge of the decisions. He left his first marriage and he left the next woman after her too. I am sure that it drives him BANANAS that he is not the one choosing to leave our relationship and marriage. He's lost all control and I am sure that is making him insane.

What I also know: his love is NOT real. His love is ALL about power and control over me, just like every other abuser. So his words of so called love even cause pain for me. It's false love... sure, he may actually care for me in his own twisted, warped way... but all this pleading is about CONTROL.

It makes me grieve the loss of a love I never had.