i am supposed to study for my exams... do you guys think i have put any effort into it? The answer is no. i haven't studied in months. i feel completely discouraged and lazy to even try to open up a book. i don't even HAVE many of the books i actually need! Yet my parents are still convinced that i am trying my best. They couldn't be more wrong. Though they are aware of my own struggles with university, they're still giving me much more faith and trust than i deserve. i don't deserve empathy or compassion because i brought all of this on myself. it's no one's fault but mine and i'll forever have to live with this fact. i am too weak to do anything about it.

i am so sorry, Mom, Dad, and anyone else i have disappointed!