Having Bipolar Disorder in combination with being introverted with a history of social (and generalized) anxiety has definitely affected me. During high periods, I have done and said things impulsively that have caused me to have a lot of regret afterwards. Then, I question whether my friend has judged me or if they will remain my friend. Periods of drinking have exacerbated this as well. There was one friend that did not mind witnessing me making certain decisions while manic that would make people feel uncomfortable, but she died. It was very hard to take since she was my best friend who never judged me.

I feel I am more prone to hurt my family when I am irritable and in a dysphoric manic state and have done things that I cannot take back, although they've forgiven me. There are people who have stopped being my friend along the way for when I've been depressed and stopped wanting to go out or interact much. I've also felt odd, withdrawn, and out of place in groups where I feel like it's hard to engage in a group discussion. Now, I only have a couple of close friends, but I'm thankful for that. However, I fear losing them since that has happened throughout the years.