Hey
I had depressive episodes since I was seven or eight years old.
They all differed in severity and duration but I noticed around the age of 16 that depression took something from me over and over again.
Just small parts but I think after being not depressed for nearly one year now that it has taken almost all of it.
I would describe it as interest in live. Or motivation. Or passion for just anything at all.
Everything just doesn't seem to absorb me.
I tried drawing again and started to workout but the whole wow effect doesn't come.
All I do just seems like nothing or feels like nothing.
I worry that due to the amount of depressive episodes during my childhood and teenage years that I lost the ability to really feel as much excitement or happiness as other people.
Is it possible that I am just expecting more of everything but in reality people are not actually passionate in regards to feeling passionte than more of acting passionate?
Or is my brain broken or damaged?