Today went decently. I told her about my split dose and that I felt better and I also wasn’t super horny all the time so I wasn’t frustrated because of that. I told her I thought I had an eating disorder and she thought we were already in aggrence about that. I asked her if she actually wanted to meet with me or if she was just dealing with me because it would be stupid to switch me to someone else when I’m only going to be here for a couple more months. She told she does want to continue to work with me but she’s wondering if she’s doing everything she can since she doesn’t work with eating disorders. But I told her that it had been going on a lot longer then we were working together. That it had probably been going on since I was 5 but then the meds messed with my weight and then when I went off them in 2015 the problem seemed to come on. She thinks my self worth is tied down to my weight. I told her I was drinking water. And she said “Um. What’s that supposed to mean?” And I said you can’t admit someone if they are drinking water. And she said that just means I can’t be hooked up to an IV if I’m drinking water. I asked her if she knew why I always had my shirt halfway covering my face and I was always moving the camera around. And she said “I don’t know. I thought it was always because you were fidgety or anxious.” And I said it was because I had a double chin on camera and I was trying to get the right angle. She said “everyone looks bad on zoom.” Then about 7 minutes before we ended I said “ok. Now I’m moving around because my back hurts.” And she laughed and said “yeah because your sitting on the floor.” Then that kind of broke the ice and we were able to be ok with each other the rest of the time. We talked about how bad Covid will get. She doesn’t believe me. We talked about the vaccine and how our parents are getting them. I told her my sister who’s a teacher got hers. She wants me to go to the doctor for my UTI because it can turn into something a lot bigger if I don’t. And she’s wondering why I’ll take my cat to the vet and why I’m so worried about him but I’m not worried about myself and I won’t take myself to a doctor. I kinda laughed randomly a couple times. She didn’t really pay any attention. One time I thought she kinda smiled back. I don’t know why that is happening. It’s not just in therapy. I’m laughing a lot at the dumbest things lately even when I’m by myself. But I asked her at the end if today went well and she said “I thought so.” I don’t feel like hiding the rest of the day in bed like I normally do after therapy. So either therapy went well or I’m feeling better overall from my meds so I don’t really care if she doesn’t like me or not. I know my split dose has made me feel less clingy with her.