The therapist has always allowed outside contact. I could text her about pretty much anything, and if I'm struggling, I could reach out to her for a call. She would occasionally feel spammed and that it's too much. During those instances, she would get upset with me, but wouldn't necessarily deny giving me a call.

Last month, she felt suffocated by my high need for outside contact, and that played out in one of our therapy meetings. We decided to take a two week break partly because she said that she couldn't be a therapist to me while she was feeling overwhelmed. She also said that some changes needed to happen, but that it wouldn't be rigid or absolute. She said that we would work together to figure out outside contact, but that her ultimate goal is work towards no outside contact. That sounded to me like any changes we make would be a gradual transition. The therapist and I have also always been able to come together to talk and work things out.

But after we returned from our break, the therapist seemed to have changed her stance, and enforced no contact right off the bat rather than working together on a gradual transition. We did agree on one message of no more than five sentences, but she said that that wasn't what she had in mind. She said that she agreed to it just to give me a sense that we're working together.

For one, I don't want to have the mere sense that we're working together; I want us to be genuinely working together to figure it out like she reassured me that we would before we went for our break. Furthermore, one message of no more than five sentences over the weekend was actually her idea a couple of weeks before we went on a break.

On one hand, I understand that the therapist is observing her limits in order to preserve our therapy work and relationship, but at the same time, I feel "cheated." I was holding on to her reassurance that any changes would be gradual and that we would figure it out together. But instead of a gradual transition, we're going from being able to text her about anything and having a call if I'm struggling to no contact or her reluctance of one message of no more than five sentences. I feel like I'm suddenly being thrown into the deep end of the pool.

I was backreading on some threads about outside contact. It seems like most of your therapists allow outside contact and encourage you to reach out if needed. Some of you are worried about disturbing your therapist, but it seems like most of your therapists reassures you that they would observe their own limits and boundaries – such as saying "no" if they can't talk in that moment, setting the length of the conversation, et cetera. This seems like a better alternative to me than a rigid or absolute rule across the board of no contact.

Anybody care to weigh in?