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Old Feb 03, 2021, 06:42 AM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 23,238
Quote:
Originally Posted by rdgrad15 View Post
Yeah I agree, all of those examples are inappropriate. I think the most common one is saying that you know what it is like since you lost someone too. I think most people do that with the intent to mean well and provide comfort but it can backfire.
You are right! There is no comfort in that as grief is very subjective and individual. And comparing what someone else felt has zero benefit as it’s never even close to that. “I know how you feel”. “No you don’t”.

Now if someone specifically wants your suggestion on how to deal with grief or asks you how you do certain things or if you have a specific resource to help with grief, then it’s entirely different story. Then it’s appropriate. Otherwise prying or comparing or expressing unwarranted opinions or giving unsolicited advice is making someone else’s grief all about yourself. It’s never ok.
Thanks for this!
rdgrad15, RoxanneToto