I was super close to self harming yesterday. I had the but I didn't push down. I couldn't self harm. I wanted to. But my Pastor's wife said that "you don't do that anymore. It is not a solution." That made it worse actually. I sort of took it as a challenge. Like you think I don't do it anymore, but I'll show you. But the more I thought about it, and the thought of giving up a years worth of hard work to not self harm, the less I was able to go through with it until I finally put the away and didn't do any self harm at all.