I am in the same boat as you are. Our marriage is on the rocks because of this as well as several more underlying issues. Basically, I am a bad wife and mother. I am not emotionally connected to my husband and kids and is more open and loyal to friends. I have been emotionally neglected as anchild and as my therapist and I have worked out, I can’t nurture when I had no proper “training” to nurture. My husband can’t seem to get this as he also had a bad childhood but came out of it emotionally okay. I am stuck as well and completely relate to how you feel.