You are upset because you are unable to have your dream career due to your neurological conditions. I can understand.But you are very young and have your whole life ahead of you.You can take a small break ,have good therapy,improve your physical,mental health.You can plan another career that is not affected by your condition and one that is fulfilling for you.There is so much you can do if you motivate yourself.Please don't beat yourself up.Hope you will feel better soon.Hugs.