Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
The first three months are difficult for the mother as well in that many mothers are sleep deprived. This is especially true if the infant has problems with colicing. A baby completely changes a mother's life and the mother can struggle if the baby is colicy and get frustrated.
My husband tended to be colicy and in order to get him to sleep his mother took him out for a ride in the car. Now they have special seats that vibrate that helps not only with colic but if the baby tends to be restless like my husband. My husband has ADHD and tends to struggle to sit still and is very active. Now this is understood better, but when he was a baby and child growing up ADHD was not recognized.
If you struggled and did not get the attention you needed it doesn't always mean you were not loved. What it tends to mean is the mother simply did not know what to do and got frustrated a lot. Also, it's good to know that when a baby is hungry their stomach does hurt causing them to cry which is all a baby knows how to do to get needs met. So, if you combine the crying to be fed along with the crying from colic, that can become an ongoing challenge for the mother that can get very tiring and frustrating.
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I’m sure I have a family history of several with ADHD, too.
The early experience for me was i would not eat, and my mother’s way of coping with it was not healthy. She was screaming, verbal abuse, relentless, unapologetic. This ended for me once she became distracted by my father’s nervous breakdown and death.
I do recall times after that where i avoided confrontations I knew would trigger me to tears, and knew they would be uncontrollable if I started and I’d embarrass myself if I let that happen...so I never let it happen.
The next time I was ever triggered to tears like that was the first time I went to the therapist at my college because of a relationship with my bf. The t learned about my father and only wanted me to focus on him in this only session we ever had. I lost it and cried the whole time and then never went back.
The clergy triggered me to cry before my wedding ceremony. Awful story. I pulled myself together and walked down the aisle. People commented how I must have been so overjoyed they could see I had been crying. It wasn’t from joy.
Then my h was the sole trigger of the frustration turned to crying ‘meltdowns’ after some years of marriage, and this has been the way ever since. He’s the only one who had this effect on me, until the family fallout recently, which I am moving on from the best I can and feeling stronger.