As usual I took a lot of meds last night. I actually woke my mom up and said “I think I need to go IP in the morning because I’m losing control of my meds.” Then this morning I feel totally fine. I’m not drowsy or having any anxiety or anything. I got my injection a few minutes ago and I exercised for 36 minutes. I really don’t have a clue about why I struggle so deeply at night but then wake up and am totally fine. My mom has hidden the melatonin again. And I’m not going out so I can keep control of my Geodon. Last night I came home at 10:30 and took my 100 mil of Geodon and then at 12:30AM I took the 80 that I usually take at 1AM. Then I for some reason just really panicked and I had a massive anxiety attack and I took 30 mil of melatonin. But I’m hoping after tomorrow when I get my supposed period I can figure out a plan with my therapist on how to handle these thoughts that come up every month. Maybe I really do need to go IP. Or back to IOP. But last night was the 3rd night this week that something was up with my meds. That is unusual even for me.