Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountaindewed
I’m still a bit down about my therapist. I honestly think it’s just changes in hormones. Things were fine before I started my transition. Then I became all needy and clingy and wanting her attention. But I went through a lot more stuff and got through a lot more tougher issues with several other therapists. I have no idea what is so different about my current one. I’ve left the others with no issues. Some I left suddenly. This is just so weird for me.
But today I’m trying to be productive. I ordered a new weighted blanket, and I took a shower and I’m going to start reading. I exercised too. I managed yesterday with just one Xanax. I’m hoping to continue just staying at one a day. Last night I read from 3:30 until about 8PM. Then I was able to ignore my thoughts which weren’t too bad. So yeah I’m doing pretty good. Feeling ok.
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Mountaindewed, I strongly suggest you discuss this matter with your therapist. There is clearly an issue relating to her. I'm thinking it is transference, in some shape or form, which is not a bad thing unless it is not discussed. If you're wondering what to say to her, read aloud to her the very first paragraph in your post above. Verbatim.
You have way too many other concerns in your life than to have your therapist in them so often. Like her, you want to leave her, like her again, need her, obsess about her, upset with her, down about her. Her, her, her???????
Sometimes transference itself is a wonderful thing to discuss for the actual therapeutic process. Other times, it can signal that the relationship must end. I can't help but wonder if your therapist is capable of utilizing such information effectively. Have you spoken about this with your psychiatrist? Maybe he/she could help you determine next steps with your therapist. I'm not sure if any of our feedback here at My Support Forums has really yielded any good or help, in regards to your relationship with your therapist.
Is your therapist a specialist (or have any experience) working with people in the LGBTQ+ community? If not, it might be good to look for someone who is. They're out there. They can also be helpful for mood disorders, and other issues.