You're right LT, and it still hurts.

Btw, I talked to L about her saying she wanted to avoid it because she didn't want to trigger me. It was a miscommunication. What she meant to say is that we no longer try to schedule that time because that day has now become triggering for me; not that she doesn't want to talk about the triggers themselves.

I'm just a complete wreck emotionally, mentally, physically. I spent 2 months preparing for the decrease in frequency, went through the first week, then I have twice a week back but am feeling replaced, to now H just called me and said he doesn't think the job will last longer than a few months. I feel like a punching bag. I'm just emotionally being jerked around.