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As an aside my own experiences with some AA groups have included shaming much to my dismay particularly when it came to medications for mental health and illness treatment. Also in particular a book used at a meeting I used to go to called “living sober “ addresses the fact that “we are not doctors “ and that medication management should be left up to a professional.
When I first got sober years ago I began by going to all noon meetings around me. They were mostly all men, many retired and some women. 85% of them or so were full of kindness and wisdom especially the older retiree grandfather types. Unfortunately the younger, perhaps more suffering ones were the ones who seemed to get on their soap boxes and rail against the evils of big pharma lumping crucial medications like antidepressants in with easily abused medications like opiates and benzos.
It’s not my business or job to tell anyone what they should take. I’ve never been one to completely write off a certain med or class of meds as big no-no’s. I’ve had 5 surgeries in 2.5 years. I’ve needed pain medicine while recovering. My doctors were all in on my history. I took my meds and all is well now. I would listen to some of these younger holier than thou people preach nonsense and I would even question my own treatment even though I’ve been stable now for 20 years. At the time in my early days maybe I had been stable for 12 years or so. Thankfully I had a good sponsor who knew that what I needed medically was a doctors job. My sobriety was a AA person’s “job” as far as advice goes. Anyhow I guess this is all just me rambling.
My husband was advised to try our local alanon. He’s very private and quiet and was already in therapy. He went once and came home and told me it wasn’t for him. He said the amount of what he perceived as self aggrandizing and self pity was detrimental to his own needs. That combined with overwhelming questions and bombardment after the meeting turned him off. He stuck to therapy. My daughter though really benefited from Alateen.
My sponsor also had a drug addict ex husband and daughter and even though she was in aa she said alanon was invaluable to her learning to deal with them. So it’s not always bad and works for many. I can’t figure out why I’ve seen various forms of shaming in recovery communities. Not tons of it but enough to make many people afraid of being truly open.
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"I carried a watermelon?"
President of the no F's given society.
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