@MarcusAurelius, I still occasionally think of my first love, and I haven't even seen him in 25 years. I even googled him about four months ago. It's normal to think of people that you loved so much, even if there was a breakup/divorce. I think of my youngest nephew, my most recent parrot, and my mother almost every single day. The thoughts do decrease a little over time, though. I understand the pain it's giving you. Soon after my nephew died from bipolar depression, I tried to convince myself that he was just "away at college", but he wasn't. Grief royally sucks, but everyone experiences it.

I'm tired and today will be a stressful day. This is affecting my ability to concentrate and retain information. Cloudy brain. I wonder if I'm experiencing a mild mixed state. That or just the stress. Having my monthly hormonal chaos now doesn't help. Soon there will be dozens of boxes in my house. Glad they're coming, though.

When I went downstairs this morning it was clear that the handyman washed our pots and pans. Hubby was supposed to do that, last night. That embarrassed me.