Dear T,
Ugh, what was that session? Felt like you were on a different page from me the whole time. Like you contradicted anything I said or wanted to do. And why are you putting fear in my head that I'm asking too much of H lately? Meanwhile, suggesting--pushing, really--for me to do something that would be a *much* bigger imposition on him. Like 45 minutes vs. 3 days? Is this some countertransference thing, where maybe you're having some conflict with your wife about things like that? Because it felt so different from the caring, supportive tone of Monday's session. And other recent sessions. And you didn't laugh at any of my jokes today either (ok, they weren't my best attempts, but still...)

And then your suggesting that the reopening of schools likely won't happen as planned. Can't you just let me hold onto something?

Maybe the bigger thing is my mentioning being teary-eyed while near your office for the cardiologist appointment. Then my adding, "I know, that sounds pathetic," and your not saying anything? Maybe I should have pushed it more to talk about it, but I felt embarrassed. And didn't want to seem like I was pushing you toward in-person sessions (even though you're fully vaccinated now).


I just feel really sad right now...plus I'm going to have to drive near your office again to drop the monitor off...which will make me even sadder...
-LT