So Sorry that you're feeling this way! i agree with all the other wise and wonderful posters. Definitely talk to your doctor and/or therapist about how you're feeling. It is your right to speak up if you're feeling confused. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @kirs102433, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!