Update: hey guys thank you so much for the replies. Sorry I haven't responded. I didn't have the energy. The lack of sleep is making me sick and while I am awake I have to work, but I appreciate you taking the time to answer.

Good news: I am seeing a trauma therapist The specialty is somatic experiencing and it has given me some hope. Slow but steady. The lack of sleep is getting to me and I have paranoia with sleep medication (of course ha). Still I will give it a try and continue through.

Hope everyone is doing ok