Anybody ever self harm when you're totally calm, cool, and collected? Please say someone else does this. It's like I whine and complain when I am in the throes of urges. But then. I get out of that stage and come to a place that is very extremely bad calm. And in that calm place I usually do a lot of destruction to myself. I'm in that calm place now. It's not that I want to go back to the urges place because that is horrible too. But you can fight with urges. How do you fight calm? I'm stopping on the way home to get some bandaging materials because I don't have them at home. I KNOW THIS IS BAD! I know it. And yet I am extremely calm about it. Like the eye of the storm maybe. And I feel just as powerless to stop it as when I am in the throes of urges.