I think this is okay. I can see how you might feel that this (being disgusted by someone's penis) may be problematic if you are dating a guy, but I also think that the right person will be ok with it, and maybe, the right person will treat you in a way that makes you want to see his penis at some point. Or not. I jut really think the right people will respect you and what you are and aren't comfortable with. In terms of worrying about being alone, why not take this time to explore who you are? Ok, well, you can't do that during the pandemic in dating, but how about you take this time to learn about yourself on your own, to respect yourself, and accept yourself? I feel like our culture is very.......hetero......in the sense that sex means penis going into a vagina or oral sex. Maybe it doesn't have to mean that. I personally think that it's a broader spectrum, sex, and what it means to different people. Such emphasis is placed on a specific kind of sex. There's shouldn't.


Another thing about being "alone"....I think you might mean "lack of romantic relationship." There's many kinds of love and we are never alone, and at the same time, we all die alone. That's not to be bleak. And What about people who have been married and are now divorced or widowed? Are they alone? If you have good friends and family and self respect and passion in life, you aren't alone. Live a good life and focus on being healthy and happy. That doesn't have to include a partner, even though society weirdly teaches us that it does. I question this. If you want resources on this let me know. Edit: I reread your posts and it doesn't seem like the worry of "being alone" is an issue for you. Apologies. I got my own thoughts in there, lol.


In terms of women, I don't have experience with women myself. But if that's something you're curious about, nothing wrong with that.


There's nothing wrong with you.