He gave you what you wanted but there is something deep inside of you that you have to get in touch with that's causing you to stay distant. If you've forgiven him then you don't remember the things of the past and they don't affect today. However, if you do remember those things or they are having adverse impacts then you truly haven't forgiven and you need some help to forgive. The only other thing that will push you forward into divorce is this being an opportunity to escape a marriage you are no longer committed to make work no matter what type of person he has become.