I just got out of a 15 year marriage similar to this. My wife had multiple affairs and I stayed by her side time after time, just asking her to get help. In 2019 I left my 13 year career for her and my family and she decided she wanted an open relationship and like a nut I agreed because she was in control and it was either do that or lose my family.

Well luckily I did not lose my morals and go outside the marriage. However, she decided she would like to be with the other man and wanted to come and go as she pleased, went on all types of vacations, until one day enough was enough and I put an end to it and kicked her out.

Basically it is manipulation, he is in a place that you are allowing him to do what he want's to do so he will continue to do so. The behavior he is exhibiting is like a drug, they are high when they leave to go off on their encounter and then come crashing back down to reality after its over.

You have to make a decision, is the money more important or are you and your kids more important. You don't deserve to go through this but sounds like maybe you have enabled him to get away with this type of behavior before.

I found pray helpful. It seems like it is harder on the other side, but the things you are dealing with by staying are alot more difficult than the things you will go through on the other side.

When in question choose peace... Currently he is stealing the peace from you and your home environment, which should be your refuge.