Quote:
Originally Posted by CANDC
Tag me if you reply to this messag: @CANDC
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Thanks for your response and for the observation that ES (elder son) responds to necessity. That rings true. I have a call scheduled with ES this afternoon. Here is what I am struggling with: it's probably not my job to change ES' view of the future, but I find he responds best when what I say fits into his vision, or if I can adjust his vision to an alternative that makes sense to him.
Right now his vision is:
- come home until I feel better
- move on with the rest of my life (with my girlfriend)
My vision is:
- come home
- don't feel better
- get dumped/ghosted by girlfriend
- feel even worse than now and have no idea how to move forward
Maybe I need to start the discussion with his good points and move on to actions he is going to take:
- you are a good person
- you are a strong person
- you can move forward from this and I can help you
"Let's talk about what you are going to do and what kind of help you need".