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laughnotcry
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Member Since: Feb 2021
Location: Kansas
Posts: 6
3 yr Member
Default Feb 13, 2021 at 10:12 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by CANDC View Post

Tag me if you reply to this messag: @CANDC
Thanks for your response and for the observation that ES (elder son) responds to necessity. That rings true. I have a call scheduled with ES this afternoon. Here is what I am struggling with: it's probably not my job to change ES' view of the future, but I find he responds best when what I say fits into his vision, or if I can adjust his vision to an alternative that makes sense to him.

Right now his vision is:
  1. come home until I feel better
  2. move on with the rest of my life (with my girlfriend)
My vision is:
  1. come home
  2. don't feel better
  3. get dumped/ghosted by girlfriend
  4. feel even worse than now and have no idea how to move forward

Maybe I need to start the discussion with his good points and move on to actions he is going to take:
  • you are a good person
  • you are a strong person
  • you can move forward from this and I can help you
"Let's talk about what you are going to do and what kind of help you need".
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