Hi guys, so my T is kinda pushing me into affirmations. She's been trying to push me into saying them for a few months.

But I don't believe they will work. My issue is that I have a minor genetic deformation on my eyes, they look similar to Asian but I'm not Asian. I can see well to read and write, but I have issues with sight in the distance. That's why I don't drive for example. I'm also short and overweight. Due to previous trauma (classmates kicking me until I danced and generally various bullying during PE classes and elsewhere, my entire body feels stiff and I've been told I move like a bear or dance like a piece of wood. I've been told this by various people, various ages, different places.

So as you can imagine my self esteem is pretty low. My therapist wants me to say affirmations to myself. But I find it very stupid when a few weeks in the future, there's going to be someone else who will call me names. Just last Sunday I was on my usual walk when a group of teenagers shouted at me that I'm blind.

But it doesn't happen only with children and teens. I've been called disabled and not very pretty by numerous adults, often older than me.

This has been going on since I was born and I have no reason to believe it's going to stop.

The problem isn't in my head, like body dysmorphia. The issue is being hurt by other people... Externally.

I don't know how saying affirmations could help me feel better it sounds extremely stupid and unrealistic.

I'm working on my weight and exercise, I've lost weight and working with a dietitian so that's helpful. But concerning my entire appearance and self esteem, my therapist isn't really helpful and basically all she pushes is affirmations. Only last Friday she suggested I do more self care for self esteem but before that (a few weeks ago) she said that if people don't practice self care (makeup, shopping new clothes) then most other people won't like them. She made it sound like if I won't start wearing makeup I can't expect anyone to like me. It really crushed me.

Like... I know it's true but it hurt me even more than before when she confirmed my worst insecurities. She didn't say anything new to me, but it coming out of her mouth sounded so cruel.

I think if I start repeating affirmations which I don't believe it's only going to make me feel much more miserable. Besides, I don't see the point - if something is true, why keep repeating it like a parrot? If something isn't true then repeating it is a lie.