@divine1966, thank you for pointing these things out. I can sometimes have black and white thinking, and I need to strike a balance and middle ground somehow between having firm boundaries while also being nice.

And yes, I think he has probably manipulated his other ex into thinking he's some sort of nice guy all over again. They're on very good speaking terms and could even be called good friends at this stage.

I am learning.... I am learning the art of creating and establishing firm boundaries while also being kind, compassionate and diplomatic at work right now too. I have not had to do this to date and it's a big challenge for me, in all areas of my life.

I have a fighter spirit in me, and because I've been abused many times at work and in my romantic life, it makes me react very defensively and protectively.

It's really hard for me, this new art form I must learn.