I can certainly sympathize with the SI you're currently experiencing, bpcyclist. Been there, tried that. I hope you can compartmentalize the thoughts, though. I'm glad you're reaching out here. I hope you've gotten in touch with your therapist or someone else who can intervene until this passes...& it will pass. After all, that's the nature of bipolar disorder. I realize, however, that it's tough to see your way clear of the darkness when you're in the middle of it. Hang in there.