Sorry you stumbled black dog. I have tried a few times to stop, unsuccesfully. My sobriety usually ends with impulsive drinking. The next day I may feel disappointed with myself and I usually vow not to do it again, but even as I am vowing I am bargaining with myself about the certain limited conditions under which I will allow myself to drink in the future. I am sorry to hear that you are not out of the self harm woods yet. Impulsive drinking can trigger depression for me, but not mania. I hope you feel better soon! Check in and let us know that you are OK.