Oh boy, this is so crazy-making and painful, yet somehow so predictable (which makes me wonder why it isn't given its own prominence in T school).

Yeah, she's retiring, so now it's "shift into getting to where she thinks she should be at the end" mode. Except you're rightly who and where you are and not on her interior "who am I as a professional" timetable. This is so about her. That moment where you noted her choosing to not respond in an open-ended sort of way as was common between you is very telling. If she can hold onto that "lesson," it should be ok.

Another side of this I only fully appreciated for myself long after therapy ended: that when T failed me in some way--not seen or validated or mis-stepped and such--yes, it was a "breaking" on his part; but it also didn't ultimately matter because the pain didn't originate with him. It was in me. And there would be times in life when it would show itself again, and while not pleasant, it was OK. That there could be space for that pain to exist, and I didn't have to react or do anything about it at all. It will come and go--rarely, now--and I can decide what meaning it has or hasn't for me. And there's a lot of freedom in that. I hope you reach that place soon.