Hello, what things have helped you in the past when you feel panic? is there anything that helps you to feel more at ease. I wonder if its the name if so how about holding a comfort item in your hand or lap as you say his name? or imagining a peaceful scene as you say the name. are you on good terms with your boss could you have a chat about nicknames so that you don't have to use that actual name? think of a stop sign when you start to panic or actually vocalize S>T>O>P! and see if that makes a difference, little strategies I have used in the past when starting to panic, hope something like this works for you. Take care.