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I have fallen so deep into depression that I don't want to do anything in life. I am afraid to kill myself, but living every day is difficult. I had many ideas on what to do, how to enjoy life, some very inspirational to me, motivation lingers for a short time and disappears every time. I'm out of ideas. And it's funny. My brain is my worst enemy, it gives me hope and then strips it away. I've been on L-Theanine for several weeks, it helps to focus and concentrate, lately it stopped giving those effects. I feel drained of serotonin. I am very alone, I have no family that accepts me as I am. I'm 29 years old, physically fit, I'm on a vegan diet and keep my weight 50kg, do yoga, don't drink or smoke. I've seen so many motivational vids on youtube and none of them helped me, I think they don't even know what depression really is. I thought I could be on my own, but I can't. I see no point in waking up, going to the store for food is energy consuming, I want to sleep all the time and just stop existing, then again I think I was born for something great to make a change in the world.
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