It's that age-old question again and I still can never answer it for sure. I've been doing so well for the past few months. My depression is gone, I'm content with everything and even my worst triggers just seem to bounce off of me now. I can't recall any period of time in the past five or six years where my mood has been so consistently upbeat for the most part. My brain is working at full capacity and I feel unrestricted to a degree. Where I used to have difficulty grabbing thoughts and ideas for writing, it all seems to come to me so easily now. My room is always clean and the laundry is always done on time and put away. The whole day-to-day functioning deal. It's nice.

What isn't nice is waking up at 2-3AM with four or five hours of sleep every single day for weeks or months now. I realize it's weird to be functioning so well on so little sleep but I am managing despite it.

I have been going in and out of these really elevated states that last a couple weeks or so before coming down to this elevated baseline where I remain until the next wave comes. I was at times by all accounts hypomanic as heck during those periods, but it seems the craziness has subsided. I'm not hearing voices or having three-way conversations with myself anymore, but I'm still alternating between good and wow, really good! with about thirty cumulative minutes of being upset throughout the several weeks of elevation.

All that aside, I feel like a normal person right now if anything. I can do everything I need to do and I know if I could sleep more than four hours I could probably do a lot more. My thoughts aren't really fast or anything but I still feel much more creative than usual like I was given a brain decongestant.

I don't know what I'm trying to get out of this post. I'm more inclined to believe my self-doubts just because of how normal I feel and how I'm functioning.

Thanks!