i can relate as well. i also have no idea what to do with my Life dpesite having more than enough time during my days to change things up. Please don't be hard on yourself as it is not your fault any of this is happening. Be kind to yourself and try to take things one step at the time. i am here if you need to talk and Hopefully many others willbe available as well if you just ask. You matter. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @puzzclar, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!