The most difficult part is financial. In order to move out, I have to have enough. getting into low-income housing will be tough. My drive to move out is small because I don't have the mental capacity to do more. Working part-time in an expensive city increases the difficulty.

I can list all the excuses but in all reality, I haven't been on my own without anyone else around. for the last 10 years, I have lived with either my sister or my parents. Even during undergrad, I lived with roommates. My biggest issue is not knowing what to do, or what is important to do. Depression has zapped me of everything, and it's an excuse. I've sat back and let my body and mind waste away because of whatever reason.

Deep down, I'm terrified of too many things, and fear is overtaking me. I listened to an interview and discovered that my time management shows what I value. And I'm not happy with what it shows!!!! I have no idea what to do, and sadly I have few people to rely on that can show me.... wait if I wait for someone to show me what to do, I'll be waiting a long time. The fear is a stop sign, and instead, it could be a yield sign to show me that something needs to change or action can be taken, instead of freezing and doing nothing.

I hate this realization but maybe emotions aren't a bad thing if I learn from them. Using them as course correctors would be helpful instead of sitting on my but doing nothing but waiting for my life to be easier, that I will want to choose to live.

Having a parent that does everything except socialize, and one that sits on his butt all day on the computer shows me very little about creating a life that is worth sticking around.

Ultimately I need to step up and do more to feel value in my life. My time shows me that I stopped caring. When I stopped caring and let others step in, is the day that I lost my sense of self, and my values were thrown out. I am not blaming others, and I am not shaming myself. Instead, I am claiming responsibility for creating a life that brings fulfillment.

that would be better than spending more time in a hospital for mental health concerns. (I've been in the MH Far too often the last 16 years)